fragile

My first ever car selfie. Waiting and boredom wins.

I haven’t done self portraits in ages. I miss that lady, the one in front of the lens. But she was so weak, at times, so damn weak.  And so damn brave. And so hard ass. and so, so fragile.

ryoko suzuki

See website here

The”Bind”series expresses my inner-self:a grown-up who has left the world introduced by her parents and other adults. Acquiring my own thinking and being,”Bind”shows a woman who has to deal with her female sexuality. In this work series, I bound myself with pigskin, which had been soaked in my blood as a symbol of womanhood. I was feeling and thinking about my life-in which I had transformed from a child who just believed what adults provided- leading it my very own way, as a woman, while wrapping my eyes, nose, mouth, and ears with pigskin. In this way, the”Bind”series are recordings of actions reflecting these considerations.

私は、子供時代、大人が子供用に作り上げた虚構の世界に、強烈な嘘くささを感じていましたが、女性として思春期に入ると、今度は周囲の期待通りに女の役割を演じ始めている自分に気がつきました。本当の自分を探す必要にかられて出来たのが、このときの顔を主題とした一連の作品です。Bindは自分自身を幼児体験の象徴の豚の皮に、女としての性の象徴である血液を浸して、縛り上げています。縛り上げる事でそれまでの自分と向かい合い、確かにそこにある「私のものとしての私」を取り戻したかったのです。
両親や大人たちに与えられた世界から離れ、自分の考えを獲得した大人の面と、女性というセクシャリティーに折り合いを付けなければならない女性の面です。自分の目、鼻、口、耳を豚の皮で塞ぎながら、大人の与える物をただ受け取る子ども時代から、自分の人生を歩く女性に変化を遂げた、私の人生について感じ、考えた記録がBindという作品です。

bind006bind1bind4

My ANIKORA series is acting in front of social background, of a growing trend in Japan, known as “aikora”: it is about Japanese men’s desire to see their favorite pop or movie stars in pin-up or nude poses.The ANIKORA series ironizes such masculine desire. The figures featured in these works have almost nude bodies of an exaggerated perfection, like all anime characters. But by exchanging the original face of these virtual identities with my own, real face, I am showing a critical, human position about a (globally) increasing indifference towards some of our desires, leading to a situation of external control.

 アニコラシリーズは、日本の美少女アニメーションキャラクターの体に、私の顔をコラージュしています。この手法はアイドルの顔を、裸の女性にコラージュするアイドルコラージュ(アイコラ)から着想を得ました。アニメのキャラクターにコラージュするので「アイコラ」です。今や日本の文化の一端を担うアニメですが、美少女キャラクターの姿は、男性の欲望を反映しています。しかし、生身の人間くささを感じる要素は消し去られています。架空の世界で消費された欲望は、どこへ向かって行くのでしょうか。その欲望は、本当に自分の欲望なのでしょうか。
 anikora-sweat10anikora-sweat04anikora-sweat09

 No one could give a quick answer to a fundamental question of an existence of human beings of “what I am”.
Do we understand in the sense of word what we are in the first place. I wonder if the question of “what I am” would raise you a question of who ask whom. The definition of myself of what I am would enable me to face each other at first. Until present-day, we never have the times of necessity of importance for relationship with others.
For that purpose, first of all, we need to think of “what I am”.

 「私とは何か」という人間存在の根源的問いに対して、直ぐに答えが出るひとはいないと思う。そもそも私が誰であるのか、という事を我々は本当の意味で理解しているのだろうか?私とは何かという問いも、誰が誰に問うているのか?私をわたしであると定義する事によって、初めてあなたとも向かい合う事が可能になる。現代ほど、他者との関わりを大切にする必然にとらわれた時代はないであろう。その為には、まず「私は」何であるかを考える必要がある。

iam_no10iam_no04iam_no05

The Masturbation series uses my face as the image subject.
The reason I used myself as a subject is, I felt that since the face is the most expressive part of my body, it could serve as the entrance to communication between myself and society.
My face, which is this entrance to repeating aspects of memory, pain, restoration brought to the present, is recording these moments in a photographic form, showing my vulnerability. Working my way to my inner self in this manner, is a condition which i, as an artist, accept. I even transformed myself, and literally eliminated some points that could be used to recognize me.
For me, “silicone” acts as a second skin. The texture of my skin was imprinted on the surface of the semi-transparent silicone, looking like the remains of layer upon layer of sloughed- off skin.
While all my faces represent a single self in a passage of time from past to present, a ‘me’ with two faces (= skins) is portrayed.
Covering the past with the present, the flow of time is locked in some secret room. In this way, the imprinting, erasing, locking up, and disclosing themselves become part of a kind act of masturbation.
Masturbationという作品は自分自身を被写体としております。
自らを被写体としたのは、一番身近である表象としての顔が、私と他者(社会)とのコミュニケーションの入り口ではないだろうかと感じているからです。言葉から始まるコミュニケーションではなく、他者と初めて会ったときに抱く印象やフィーリングといった曖昧な感覚的要素が、相手を判断する一つのきっかけになり得ます。この入り口である自らの顔に、記憶、苦痛、修復、時間などを二重に重ねながら、写真に記録し、さらにその姿を自らの手によって他者にさらけだしています。曖昧な表象である顔に手を加え、自らを変形させ、私が私と認識されるいくつかの要素を消し去る事で、何が残されるのかその感覚に触れたかったのです。
作品「masturbation」には、一人の自分でありながら、過去から現在への時間の流れとともに、二つの顔=皮膚を持った私が写っています。過去を現在にかぶせ、時間の流れを写真と言う密室に閉じ込める。この刷り取り、消し去り、閉じ込め、さらけ出す、という行為そのものが「masturbation」の主題になっています。

masturbation2masturbation0masturbation1

me and armanda

Armanda and I experimenting in 2009. She’s so cool, Armanda, she was so small then. She’s such fun to chill with, and she’s been so involved with my photographic portraits. And she’s so academic, so unlike her mama. My first born wonder.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

diary

Dear Diary,

I often transport myself out of places, through the window, out the door, through the ceiling. I am truly present only when there is love, or pain, the two flowers that blend together in a terribly beautiful perfume, enchanting enough to conquer all senses.100_3771100_3775

mirror

Some arb mirror photos. Haven’t done these ones in a while.

We are confronted (bombarded) by our own image so many times a day. On our web-profiles, in the mirror before work, in the shop window, our passport photo, selfie-sticks…and so on. And we can recreate ourselves through filters and personas. Maybe one of those utopias that Foucault writes about in his Utopian Body. We can escape the here version of ourselves by image. We don’t know what ‘self’ means anymore. So the term’selfie’ is diminutive for a reason.

100_3688100_3697100_3710100_3713100_3744

refuse

Often, when I do a series, I discard many photos.

It’s too disturbing. Or ‘a bit too much’. Or not powerful enough, or whatever. I end up discarding many incredible images.

I found these ones, from my series ‘refuse’, based on many of Foucault’s text on power. In 2014 I went through a black bag phase, fascinated with the nature of the plastic, the way it stretches, they way it’s fragile and can tear easily but at the same time keep things contained.

Here are some images I decided not to put in the series. I like the way my flesh appears super red. The contrast between flesh and plastic.

100b1150

100b1170

100b1250

100b1270

100_1017

100_1026

nature

Some shots taken with my ancient blackberry out under the pine trees by theescombe.

We took our daughters to a birthday party there and I chose to speak to pine trees for two hours instead of the other moms.

My senses are so heightened right now, especially my hearing and smell…and Red Jaspers in my pocket pulls me nice and tight towards earth’s belly.

some Beuys…

Been appreciating some Beuys lately, and this work of his, OMG, so goddamn sexy. Beuys can heal me anytime….
Been thinking about meds, and how ‘art pills’ are not really for sale.
Joseph-Beuys,-1976

Joseph Beuys, Zeige deine Wunde (Show Your Wound) 1974–5

Show Your Wound 1974-75

Beuys originally created the environment Show Your Wound for a desolate underground passage in Munich. Its aura of melancholy and mourning arises from its subject matter: death, decay and a sense of trauma that Beuys referred to as the ‘wound’.

The ‘wound’ is a recurring theme in Beuys’s work and holds many associations, from individual illness and physical injury to collective grief. Beuys was wounded a number of times during the Second World War, and in the 1950s, he had a serious psychological breakdown. In 1975, the year Show Your Wound was completed, he suffered a heart-attack.

Beuys was one of the first German artists to reflect on his country’s recent political history in his work, and more specifically to focus on German responsibility for the Holocaust. The blackboards incorporated into this installation seem to be a call to action, a call for the German nation to ‘show your wound’. In this way, the work functions as an act of remembrance and a vehicle for mourning.

As in many of Beuys’s sculptural works, objects are presented as doubles. These include paired agricultural implements, twin blackboards and two mortuary dissection-tables, below which are double sets of containers filled with fat, as if bodily fluids had drained into them. Beuys often employed the concept of double identity to signal opposition and unresolved conflict.

the other side of the lens

When I was in Cape Town recently, I had a short session with wonderful photographer and dear friend Niklas Zimmer. It is not my place, in front of the lens. I mean, of course it is my place, I’m in front of it all the time, but only when I am also behind the lens, directing myself. It was an uncomfortable exercise, ‘posing’ when it’s not me in control. It was wonderful though and it really gave a whole new dimension to what I am usually doing photographically. Love it. Big thanks to Niklas, who really is an inspiration. Check out Niklas’ work here: http://www.upland07.com/NiklasZimmer-_DSF3398-web (1)
NiklasZimmer_DSF3453-web NiklasZimmer_DSF3462-web NiklasZimmer-_DSF3491-web NiklasZimmer-_DSF3501-web

embodied spaces at framer framed

Framer Framed is pleased to announce Embodied Spaces, an exhibition curated by Christine Eyene, featuring works by Delaine Le Bas (United Kingdom), Jeannette Ehlers (Trinidad/Denmark), Cecilia Ferreira (South Africa), Lisa Hilli (Papua New Guinea/Australia), Evan Ifekoya (Nigeria/United Kingdom), Hélène Jayet (Mali/France), Patricia Kaersenhout (Netherlands), Euridice Kala (Mozambique/South Africa), Shigeyuki Kihara (Samoa/New Zealand), Ope Lori (United Kingdom), Susan Walsh (United Kingdom) and Alberta Whittle (Barbados/South Africa).

In this exhibition, Eyene continues an on-going dialogue with women and queer artists addressing the body, sexuality, gender, Black and Romani cultural identities in their work.

Consisting predominantly of works of a personal or intimate nature, the project takes on a double approach, engaging with the idea that ‘the personal is political’ – as attributed to feminist artist Carol Hanisch in the late 1960s – and extending this assertion to the notion that the political belongs in the public sphere. The concept also draws from the notion of ‘non-places’ defined by French anthropologist Marc Augé in Non-Lieux: Introduction à une Anthropologie de la Surmodernité (1992) who reflected on public places that hold no significance other than infrastructural, places of passing, of transience. Temporarily experienced, these spaces are also the location of parallel forms of existence and creativity.

Embodied Spaces seeks to make analogies between ‘non-places’ and marginalised or underground cultural productions, echoing Framer Framed’s commitment to challenge a Eurocentric, normative, canonic vision of contemporary art and culture. The exhibition will engage with the context and structure of the Tolhuistuin. Art pieces will also be placed in non-art-dedicated spaces within the venue, creating links between their content and location.

Embodied Spaces follows from previous editorial and curatorial projects involving women artists from Africa and the diaspora, notably Women Speak Out (Galerie Le Manège, Dakar, 2011; Fondation Blachère residency in Douala and exhibition in Apt, 2014-2015), and WHERE WE’RE AT! Other Voices on Gender (Bozar, Brussels, 2014).

Alongside the exhibitions are planned a series of public events which will be announced soon.