Change

I’ve dyed my hair and cut my hair over five times in the last couple of months. Chaos taught me so many things, like morphing my identity, not seeing it as sacred and yet staying true to myself.  What a ride. Like what you dislike, change your name, do what you would never do…changing my hair with each moon cycle.

and here I landed with this cut, settling for the whole “afrikaans lady clocking forty”look

twenty year marriage

 

Twenty-year Marriage

You keep me waiting in a truck
with its one good wheel stuck in the ditch,
while you piss against the south side of a tree.
Hurry. I’ve got nothing on under my skirt tonight.
That still excites you, but this pickup has no windows
and the seat, one fake leather thigh,
pressed close to mine is cold.
I’m the same size, shape, make as twenty years ago,
but get inside me, start the engine;
you’ll have the strength, the will to move.
I’ll pull, you push, we’ll tear each other in half.
Come on, baby, lay me down on my back.
Pretend you don’t owe me a thing
and maybe we’ll roll out of here,
leaving the past stacked up behind us;
old newspapers nobody’s ever got to read again.

gender

BabyGender

VII. THE PRINCIPLE OF GENDER.

“Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles Gender; manifests on all planes.” — The Kybalion

This Principle embodies the truth that there is GENDER manifested in everything — the Masculine and Feminine Principles ever at work. This is true not only of the Physical Plane, but of the Mental and even the Spiritual Planes. On the Physical Plane, the Principle manifests as SEX, on the higher planes it takes higher forms, but the Principle is ever the same. No creation, physical, mental or spiritual, is possible without this Principle. An understanding of its laws will throw light on many a subject that has perplexed the minds of men. The Principle of Gender works ever in the direction of generation, regeneration, and creation. Everything, and every person, contains the two Elements or Principles, or this great Principle, within it, him or her. Every Male thing has the Female Element also; every Female contains also the Male Principle. If you would understand the philosophy of Mental and Spiritual Creation, Generation, and Re-generation, you must understand and study this Hermetic Principle. It contains the solution of many mysteries of Life. We caution you that this Principle has no reference to the many base, pernicious and degrading lustful theories, teachings and practices, which are taught under fanciful titles, and which are a prostitution of the great natural principle of Gender. Such base revivals of the ancient infamous forms of Phallicism tend to ruin mind, body and soul, and the Hermetic Philosophy has ever sounded the warning note against these degraded teachings which tend toward lust, licentiousness, and perversion of Nature’s principles. If you seek such teachings, you must go elsewhere for them — Hermeticism contains nothing for you along these lines. To the pure, all things are pure; to the base, all things are base.

fragile

My first ever car selfie. Waiting and boredom wins.

I haven’t done self portraits in ages. I miss that lady, the one in front of the lens. But she was so weak, at times, so damn weak.  And so damn brave. And so hard ass. and so, so fragile.

corporeal femme

30da7590495f70b844ba209f8250bf3aI’m a complete “airy fairy” these days.  I was diagnosed with ADHD this year, although I always knew I had it, so actually, I can say I started medication this year.  Starting meds after decades of refusing it, or rebelling against it, or being skeptical about it…it’s a BIG switch.

So the light did go on and many parts of my brain are appreciative and eager receptors of new information now. And of course the elevated dopamine levels in my body changes me and the world outside of myself drastically. A grand shift, I believe, to new understanding. I’ve never been so in tune and open to nature.

So now my tendencies to lean towards ‘new age’ ideas and practices, are also elevated.  That is also perhaps why my blogs have been quiet…I produce very little art when I am not tormented. Lately I’ve been busy teaching and studying and finding ways to incorporate certain metaphysical aspects in my art lessons.

I’ve been a practicing fine artist for almost twenty years now and I’m wondering if this hasn’t really been twenty years of non-chemical therapy; twenty years of low dopamine levels and blocked up chakras.

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Ritalin, hypnotherapy and magick have brought on a massive paradigm shift in my life. So bear with me if my posts are going towards a new wave, as I move away from the rawness into something slightly more ethereal and esoteric.

As a feminist, new age spirituality  has always been a direction I was hesitant to go towards. I don’t care for the cheesy, blingy spiritual wall art and fantastical imagery of goddesses and angels. This blog will surely still touch on the real, the corporeal…but Corporeal Femme is opening her third eye nice and wide.

 

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ryoko suzuki

See website here

The”Bind”series expresses my inner-self:a grown-up who has left the world introduced by her parents and other adults. Acquiring my own thinking and being,”Bind”shows a woman who has to deal with her female sexuality. In this work series, I bound myself with pigskin, which had been soaked in my blood as a symbol of womanhood. I was feeling and thinking about my life-in which I had transformed from a child who just believed what adults provided- leading it my very own way, as a woman, while wrapping my eyes, nose, mouth, and ears with pigskin. In this way, the”Bind”series are recordings of actions reflecting these considerations.

私は、子供時代、大人が子供用に作り上げた虚構の世界に、強烈な嘘くささを感じていましたが、女性として思春期に入ると、今度は周囲の期待通りに女の役割を演じ始めている自分に気がつきました。本当の自分を探す必要にかられて出来たのが、このときの顔を主題とした一連の作品です。Bindは自分自身を幼児体験の象徴の豚の皮に、女としての性の象徴である血液を浸して、縛り上げています。縛り上げる事でそれまでの自分と向かい合い、確かにそこにある「私のものとしての私」を取り戻したかったのです。
両親や大人たちに与えられた世界から離れ、自分の考えを獲得した大人の面と、女性というセクシャリティーに折り合いを付けなければならない女性の面です。自分の目、鼻、口、耳を豚の皮で塞ぎながら、大人の与える物をただ受け取る子ども時代から、自分の人生を歩く女性に変化を遂げた、私の人生について感じ、考えた記録がBindという作品です。

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My ANIKORA series is acting in front of social background, of a growing trend in Japan, known as “aikora”: it is about Japanese men’s desire to see their favorite pop or movie stars in pin-up or nude poses.The ANIKORA series ironizes such masculine desire. The figures featured in these works have almost nude bodies of an exaggerated perfection, like all anime characters. But by exchanging the original face of these virtual identities with my own, real face, I am showing a critical, human position about a (globally) increasing indifference towards some of our desires, leading to a situation of external control.

 アニコラシリーズは、日本の美少女アニメーションキャラクターの体に、私の顔をコラージュしています。この手法はアイドルの顔を、裸の女性にコラージュするアイドルコラージュ(アイコラ)から着想を得ました。アニメのキャラクターにコラージュするので「アイコラ」です。今や日本の文化の一端を担うアニメですが、美少女キャラクターの姿は、男性の欲望を反映しています。しかし、生身の人間くささを感じる要素は消し去られています。架空の世界で消費された欲望は、どこへ向かって行くのでしょうか。その欲望は、本当に自分の欲望なのでしょうか。
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 No one could give a quick answer to a fundamental question of an existence of human beings of “what I am”.
Do we understand in the sense of word what we are in the first place. I wonder if the question of “what I am” would raise you a question of who ask whom. The definition of myself of what I am would enable me to face each other at first. Until present-day, we never have the times of necessity of importance for relationship with others.
For that purpose, first of all, we need to think of “what I am”.

 「私とは何か」という人間存在の根源的問いに対して、直ぐに答えが出るひとはいないと思う。そもそも私が誰であるのか、という事を我々は本当の意味で理解しているのだろうか?私とは何かという問いも、誰が誰に問うているのか?私をわたしであると定義する事によって、初めてあなたとも向かい合う事が可能になる。現代ほど、他者との関わりを大切にする必然にとらわれた時代はないであろう。その為には、まず「私は」何であるかを考える必要がある。

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The Masturbation series uses my face as the image subject.
The reason I used myself as a subject is, I felt that since the face is the most expressive part of my body, it could serve as the entrance to communication between myself and society.
My face, which is this entrance to repeating aspects of memory, pain, restoration brought to the present, is recording these moments in a photographic form, showing my vulnerability. Working my way to my inner self in this manner, is a condition which i, as an artist, accept. I even transformed myself, and literally eliminated some points that could be used to recognize me.
For me, “silicone” acts as a second skin. The texture of my skin was imprinted on the surface of the semi-transparent silicone, looking like the remains of layer upon layer of sloughed- off skin.
While all my faces represent a single self in a passage of time from past to present, a ‘me’ with two faces (= skins) is portrayed.
Covering the past with the present, the flow of time is locked in some secret room. In this way, the imprinting, erasing, locking up, and disclosing themselves become part of a kind act of masturbation.
Masturbationという作品は自分自身を被写体としております。
自らを被写体としたのは、一番身近である表象としての顔が、私と他者(社会)とのコミュニケーションの入り口ではないだろうかと感じているからです。言葉から始まるコミュニケーションではなく、他者と初めて会ったときに抱く印象やフィーリングといった曖昧な感覚的要素が、相手を判断する一つのきっかけになり得ます。この入り口である自らの顔に、記憶、苦痛、修復、時間などを二重に重ねながら、写真に記録し、さらにその姿を自らの手によって他者にさらけだしています。曖昧な表象である顔に手を加え、自らを変形させ、私が私と認識されるいくつかの要素を消し去る事で、何が残されるのかその感覚に触れたかったのです。
作品「masturbation」には、一人の自分でありながら、過去から現在への時間の流れとともに、二つの顔=皮膚を持った私が写っています。過去を現在にかぶせ、時間の流れを写真と言う密室に閉じ込める。この刷り取り、消し去り、閉じ込め、さらけ出す、という行為そのものが「masturbation」の主題になっています。

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wikihow: how to find a girl

from wikihow: how to find a sexy girl, step 5. False. How to get that girl: be an asshole.

Then she’ll make her own conclusions or not. But chances are 90% of girls will get caught simply by you being an asshole.find-a-sexy-girl-step-5

5
Be confident and be yourself. Sexy girls get hit on by guys who are overconfident and come of as assholes or man whores. You want to come off as a good guy, but slightly mysterious so she wants more and more and more of you.

assholes

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Sometimes I wonder if being a lesbian wouldn’t make it easier being a feminist. One of my main flaws as a feminist is, I think assholes are sexy.

I’ve called three men assholes within the last month to their faces. I think I’m using that word to much, in fact. I never call females assholes. I hardly ever call females any bad words, even when they do something stupid.

But then again, if I was a lesbian, I would still think assholes were sexy, but then the assholes would be women, which wouldn’t cause the conflict feminist wise. In a way heterosexuality really fucks me over, but at the same time, acts as a core for my feminist pendulum to swing from.

asshole

my new work ‘elixir’

 

This work explores Feminine Power.

A sigil was created by the artist and then copied onto a ghost image note.

The sigil was placed under a glass jar, where a tiger eye gemstone was charged with feminine power of the artist. A video was made, but at the point of charging the stone, a glitch froze the video, so none of the actual gnosis was captured on video.

The photos that were taken came out normally, although the video appeared altered.

No editing was done to the visual appearance of this video.

This was the process of the whole ritual:

A sigil was created symbolizing female power.

Tiger eye gemstone was charged (but not successfully documented) by the artist and then used to make an elixir.

After consuming drops from the elixir, the artist will meditate until a gnostic state lying down with four tiger eye stones. One under each palm, one on the third eye and the last one in the sacred hollow between her legs.

The sigil will also be charged during this time, by rubbing body fluids on the sigil and activating it by orgasm.

The gemstone and the sigil will be the artifacts for sale.

Below is the first part of the video performance and some photos taken during the process.

Below the initial video file. The whole performance was 4:21 min and only 1:03 min could be captured.

yoni eggs

0c2070fc-a03b-48a5-96dc-e6b0dcd8e945-e1455856460860        Yoni Egg: Feminine Weapon The Secret

Our womb and yoni is our inner sanctum, a place to access our wisdom, our power. We all come from this magical, profound place.

And yet, generally we don’t honour this sacred place, most of us use our wombs as psychic garbage bins,  throwing there the emotions that we’re unwilling to feel or face.

It takes courage to make the choice to reconnect with ourselves, to honour ourselves, and to celebrate ourselves as a sexual being. I admire you if you are reading this, to me it means that you have already started taking steps towards embodying the depth of  your deep feminine essence.

I want to tell you about one of my beloved feminine practices – the Yoni Egg.

The stone egg practice to strengthen the vagina emerged in ancient China. For a long time it was a secret practice, only available for the members of the royal family. Since ancient times these practices were used for improving physical and spiritual health of a woman.

These eggs are often called Yoni eggs.

Yoni in sanskrit literally means sacred temple, and is used to refer to a woman’s vagina. How does it feel to refer to your vagina as a sacred temple? I bet you’d like that 🙂

The egg is an amazing tool that helps tone the lower abdomen and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic and urogenital diaphragms, which serve as a floor for all our vital organs. When these muscles are strong they prevent leakage of our vital force and sexual energy and help us to keep it under control.

I can’t promise that you will be able to shoot ping pong balls with your vagina, but the results may be pretty amazing.

READ THE REST HERE

The magical and erotic phenomenology of ritual performance within the Babalon Current

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Posted by amodali on Dec 30, 2014

As a precursor to the release of the forthcoming publication of ‘The Marks of Teth’, it seems timely to post a series of articles which give context and background to the material in the book from my earlier works. The posts will condense some of the material presented over the last couple of years in public lectures. In this piece, the focus is on ‘Mother Destruction’ (1990-2000). M.D. has been the longest standing public art project thus far in a series of works dedicated to the Babalon current. The project was a collaboration with Patrick Leagas of 6 Comm who contributed original compositions to the project, as well as working with me in creating musical structures which supported the magical practices within live performance and recordings. Although I won’t be featuring the project directly in the book, the ‘M.D.’ ritual performances were vital in consolidating some of the techniques that form the core of the practices in the M.O.T., the recordings may be of interest to those working or experimenting with performance/group ritual within the 156 current.

The Mother Destruction project was part of an ongoing corpus of magical work concerned with manifesting a personal definition of the ‘Body of Babalon’, the ‘body’ being a metaphor and a phenomenological map which delineates the occult anatomy and magic of the Babalon priestess. This is a form of magical cartography which is extended via an experimental, multidisciplinary process concerned with the development of the mysteries of the 156 current; and its ontological development as a vehicle for female, sexual gnosis. The praxis supports a proposition that Babalon’s magic is synonymous with a process of radical reform within current paradigms of magical sexuality. As ‘Woman girt with sword’ Babalon represents female magical intelligence and wisdom, a transgressive force that is driving the re-evaluation and deconstruction of the female position within existing occult systems.

Within the emergent Post-Crowleyan era, clarifying and developing understanding of the sacred occult anatomy of the Babalon priestess is an essential part of ‘new aeon’ sexuality. Within the contemporary Western Mystery Tradition, there has been much progress in terms of a greater female presence and powerful contributions to the Occult Corpus made by women. However,  progressive methodologies to channel the very specific sexual mysteries of the Babalon priestess have been scarce and this has seriously hindered the progress of the current.  This situation has sabotaged formulation of an active, initiating sex magical priestesshood. The process of reform cannot only be focused on retrieval of what has been repressed, lost or missing within female magical traditions. Reform must also be concerned with investigating the current in relationship to contemporary discourse on philosophy, theology, feminism, ecology, physics, biology, neuroscience, consciousness studies, etc. Much of contemporary thought and debate in these fields is relevant to the many unresolved concerns within esotericism about the epistemic development, metaphysics and ontology of the Babalon current. Questions are being raised on the nature of ‘Babalon consciousness’ itself, her magical subjectivity, corporeality and relationship to love and Eros; and definitions of space, language and gender in the context of women’s magical experience.

A wider, contemporary understanding of female occult anatomy can be explored within movements of modern philosophy and feminist theory, such as the phenomenology of Maurice Merleau-Ponty, the feminist theology of Luce Irigaray and the linguistic theories of Julia Kristeva.  Although not directly related to esoteric philosophy, I’ve found the work of these writers of great value in terms of providing models for critique and process, which are interesting in juxtaposition with the traditional esoteric corpus and an experiential, heuristic magical practice. Merleau-Ponty elevates the concept of the ‘phenomenological field’ within his work, emphasizing the inseparable relationship between body and world as the ‘Chiasm’, acknowledging the primacy of the body as mediator between consciousness and matter. Irigaray’s work is important in regards to deconstructing the gender bias in language and supporting concepts of female subjectivity. These core ideas lead to her advocacy of female divinity as a vehicle for what she terms a ‘radical immanence’. Kristeva rejected the concept of ‘écriture féminine’ (women’s writing) promulgated by feminist thinkers who felt it vital to develop feminine symbolic systems which emphasized concepts of difference within gender. However, her interpretations of Plato’s concept of the ‘Khora’ as a maternal device for exploring somatic origins of language and poetry have some compelling correspondences with Babalon’s magic and exploration of body-centered language within ritual performance.

Such perspectives can create some challenging contrasts to traditional esoteric models and one’s orientation when defining metaphysical position, space and dynamics within a ritual context. However, the work of Irigaray and Kristeva, in particular, is contextualized within classical philosophical tradition and psychoanalytical (and Kristeva’s predominantly Freudian) models which do not reflect paradigmatic, sociological shifts created during the modern occult revival and the progress of women within this. This generates a grey area between feminist theory, philosophy and contemporary esoteric traditions within which I believe the Babalon current is of great importance to the future direction of feminist theology and occultism. Within my practice, I’ve had to conclude that the epistemological remit of the Venusian, Babalon current does demand a very specialized ‘langue féminine’,  comprising of wholly erotic, corporeal, new magical languages and magical formulas that are derived from the female occult body itself. This extends Irigaray’s concept of feminine subjectivity into a highly technical and specialized phenomenological, occult, field of action. The M.D. Project was an experiment in defining magical space in a relationship with the concept of the ‘Body of Babalon’.

Ritual Performance

‘And the sign shall be my ecstasy, the consciousness of the continuity of existence, the omnipresence of my body.’ (AL I:26)

The core of the ‘Mother Destruction’ project centred upon live ritual performances within which the various disciplines and techniques that I had created through trance/possession with the Babalon current could be put into practice by creating a primal experimental, experiential space that has some parallels with Kristeva’s ‘Semiotic Khora’. However, it is a space that is not only linguistic but also has a distinctive bio-erotic force, which drives the creative action. M.D. was in part created to challenge the nihilistic aesthetic that pervaded the post-punk, post-modern experimental music scene. It was also a general response to the collective existential impasse and schism that characteristics our current era, to which I believe Babalon is a powerful antidote. However, Babalon’s new formulas represent a form of sexuality not yet fully matured and scarcely resembles anything related to previous cultural, old aeon perceptions of love and Eros. The Babalon current exalts  women in the western esoteric tradition in the role of sex magical initiatrix. It can’t be overstated how pivotal this will be in transforming the spiritual core of humanity. This momentous shift will reverberate to challenge the reductive perceptions and dismemberment of female sexuality in contemporary culture, that often define womens experiences of sexual love as primarily driven by instinctual, reproductive urges or narcissistic, reflexive responses to the male gaze. Thus, as well as the extremely radical psycho-physical, magical transformation that the current engenders; the ongoing re-evaluation of female sex magical territory is creating a ground zero, a launching pad, from which the regenerated and revolutionary aspects of the new sexuality may emerge.

‘Mother Destruction’ was a vessel created to develop this new prima materia. The name evokes the stark reality of a raw, erotic, untrammeled state of divine frenzy, the domain of the primal goddess. It is a metaphor for the kinetic turbulence within the alchemical, sexual process of ‘solve et coagula’ and ‘fire snake’ consciousness, a force that generates the ‘in-between’ worlds that propel one through ecstatic disintegration into the dark womb of potential and regeneration, through which any and all forms of copulative exchange may emerge, a universal, creative flux, which is mediated through the sacred anatomy of the Babalon Priestess. The performances brought  together important parts of the practice I’d developed into a magical environment which would hopefully communicate the orgasmic gnosis at the heart of the Babalon current at a corporeal and etheric level; and create a platform from which to develop experimental,  ritual formulas and magical languages.

Magical Kinetics

In terms of the physical dynamics of performance,  the presence of the fire snake within the body generates some universal phenomena – erotic, ophidian currents that have often been sublimated into the distinctive movements seen in sacred dance forms  throughout history. For example, the undulative serpentine dances of the ‘Kordax’ and ‘CifteTelli’, licentious and sacred dance forms that originated in Greece and the middle east and were precursors of modern ‘belly dancing’,  have a powerfully seductive momentum.  The captivating grace of the temple dances of the Devadasi,  historically animated the mudric/yantric forms of the goddess into flesh. Both of these art forms evoke the fire snake through a very defined aesthetic. However, grafting any existing dance forms or magical techniques into my practice would have felt very artificial. It seemed very important simply to cultivate the physical dynamics that I had experienced directly from Babalon into performances. This created  a distinctive but very raw, uncontrived aesthetic. I found that during possession by Babalon one creates a phenomenological field that has similarities to a shamanic séance and that Babalon and 156 egregore is the source of a magical-physical language with many distinctive qualities. Once possessed, one is immersed within a complex spectrum of trance states through which distinctive movements spontaneously emerge. These kinetic motifs create a corporeal narrative or journey within the magical performance space.

The phenomena of convulsive shaking and trembling observed in many shamanic cultures is a feature of the trance of Babalon, yet it  is distinctive from other forms of traditional trance practices in that it is primarily erotic and directed through occult channels related specifically to the 156 current. Also key is that the priestess must work from within a pre- orgasmic build up or state of release.The performances were personally very challenging and intended as a form of erotic, ‘Electro-shock therapy’, designed to puncture collective stereotypes of female, magical sexuality. The movements of the priestess causes spontaneous reactions from the audience/participants which creates a collective ecstatic counterpoint to the invocations of the priestess. The participants engage within the magical space and some may actively become entranced and commune with Babalon via the collective ‘khora’. I believe the magic of Babalon augurs future possibilities of vitalist, evolutionary paths which can nurture deep articulacy of sensation and perception within the physical being. It seemed very important to put into practice the principles of embodiment which are at the core of the 156 current. Being present with a person completely immersed in a state of abandonment and trance is a very disorienting experience, more so with the Babalon trance which is highly sexually charged. The priestess must be prepared to fall into a completely deranged, ecstatic state, which makes her simultaneously vulnerable and empowered.

 

The performances were concerned with creating ritual structures to earth and communicate the quintessence of the current. A significant aspect of the work has been to reinforce the kinetic energy produced during ritual with corresponding sonic material and vocals. The early Mother Destruction performances featured trance practices, movement and sound that expressed these earthy, shamanic aspects of the Babalon current. Freyja as the Nordic avatar of Babalon revealed herself as holding techniques concerned with corporeal  aspects of sex magic and embodiment. From these revelations a very personal interpretation of ‘seidr’,  the shamanic/archaic sex magical tradition associated with Freyja was incorporated into the practice. For example, the ritual performance of  the ‘Hella evocation’ is a live trance working in which the dark underworld aspect of Freyja emerges through vocalizations (click link below to hear) and movements that relate directly to her vibrational location within the magical body.

Hella Roots.

The movements that invoke and channel Hella are wildly spasmodic and violent. The shamanic frenzy of these underworld energies is essential in assimilating the highly explosive and unstable manifestations of the fire snake that accompanies the first stages of initiation into the mysteries of 156. Thus, Hella is important at the ‘Saturnine’ stage of development of the ‘Body of Babalon’, a complex process described in detail in the M.O.T. Her energy once assimilated can also be invoked in group work or performances, in which Hella has the function of eliminating any energies from the field of action that hinder the success of the rite. By contrast, ‘kenaz’ was a poetic, liturgical drama and a phenomenological narrative which describes and physically evokes the construction of the solar, ‘golden raiment’, the definitive initiatic garb of the Babalon priestess. Through delicate and skillful trembling and shuddering movements, the priestess weaves the structure of the golden garment in light. Then, clothing herself in the rays of the sun, she carries and propels the participants in magical flight across the abyss, via the fiery, vulvic, solar gateway of Babalon.

My understanding of Babalon’s magic is that it encompasses many aspects of trance and possession states that may be considered shamanic and I have discovered that there are some distinctive phenomenological motifs that link shamanic practices with Babalon and Seidr work. However, Babalon’s magic is characterized by its sex magical foci and it’s transmission through the female body and has many qualities that are unique to her. Through the development and communication of these feminine aspects of Babalon, the development of her magic in relationship to all of her devotees across the gender spectrum will advance greatly. The M.D. project was thus an experiment to create a form of sex magical technology specifically to transmit these nuances of the current. A synthesis of Sonics, movement and ritual dynamics focused on the melding of the core of Babalon’s bio-linguistic formulations in the magical field, to create a matrix through which a vibrational, simulacrum of Babalon could be constructed.

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happy mothers day

 

On Friday I attended a mothers day show my little one had at school, for us mommies.

Their teacher said “now turn to your mommies and sing this song while you look into her eyes” and she sang so, so sweet, my eyes welled up with tears.

There is no love, NO LOVE, like the love I feel for my girls.

No man, no cock, no drugs, no nothing can make my heart feel like motherhood can.  No purpose exist, for me, greater than this purpose.

I am so grateful.

photo me with Cyan, november 2015.

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lil-lets

Lil-lets
(Maiden, Mother, Crone)

soms is ‘n volmaan
‘n bitter pil om te sluk
rooilip-morestond lil-lets
as die winde plukpluk
en hormone waai soos blare

angstige vrugte raak sag
my liggaam, my vieslike
velligheid wat soek en leegloop
en uitloop, eventually, soos
fokken Days of our Lives
like sand through the hourglass

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fresh tides

“She arches her body like a cat on a stretch. She nuzzles her cunt into my face like a filly at the gate. She smells of the sea. She smells of rockpools when I was a child. She keeps a starfish in there. I crouch down to taste the salt, to run my fingers around the rim. She opens and shuts like a sea anemone. She’s refilled each day with fresh tides of longing.”

– Jeanette Winterson, ‘Written on the Body’

some red

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Louise Bourgeois 10 AM Is When You Come to Me, (detail), 2006 Etching, watercolor, pencil and gouache on paper, 20 pages Etsning, akvarell, blyerts och gouache på papper, 20 sidor Collection The Easton Foundation Photo: Christopher Burke, ©The Easton Foundation/Licensed by BUS 2015

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deepthroating patriarchy

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collage by me, saw a cheap flower calendar in the shop, couldn’t resist buying it and now revamping it.

reblogged from radical feminist answers

  • What do you think about deep-throating? I’ve heard men say that it excites them to see a woman choking and gagging on their dick and that they enjoy seeing the girls mascara ruined from the tears. But it seems like some girls are into it too. – Anonymous
  • Answer:

    “I’ve heard men say that it excites them to see a woman choking and gagging on their dick and that they enjoy seeing the girls mascara ruined from the tears”

    Read again the italicized part that I copied from your ask.

    This is not about choice. This is not about consent. This is about the fact that men love and orgasm from seeing women in pain. Men inflict violence on women and have the hide to ejaculate over it. Deep throating usually involves forced exertion as well – where the male will push the woman’s head for her to go deeper. Coercion and force is rape.

    Women and men are socialized into submission and dominance. Women internalize submission as much as men are taught to be violent. The importance of this in regards to sex is that our choices during sex do not detract from the violence of the act. This is because choices under a patriarchal society are influenced by misogyny, so excusing a misogynistic act or idea because of ‘choice’ is pointless.

    Men are valued upon how well they abide by gender – masculinity. Men dominate women; whether it be through sex, rape, physical/mental/verbal abuse – because it makes them feel ‘more like a man’ ie. more ‘masculine’. This is why gender must be abolished.

    An act like deep throating should make us feel sick, unsafe and uneasy. It should make everyone want to riot. Instead, we all stick a ‘there was consent’ sticker on it to excuse it, as though our consent is not influenced by the society we live in. As though the teenage magazines young girls read don’t tell us to be more ‘kinky’ in bed. As though porn doesn’t teach us to ‘take it’. As though men don’t rape women into compliance. As though men wanting to see women crying in pain for him to ejaculate is normal.

    Collective female liberation trumps individual, patriarchally influenced ‘choice’.

    – Ash

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plates by judy chicago

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Judy Chicago (American, b. 1939). The Dinner Party (Virginia Woolf plate), 1974–79. Porcelain with overglaze enamel (China paint), 14 3/16 × 14 1/2 × 4 3/8 (36 × 36.8 × 11.1 cm).24352541.ced20553.640

Detail of the Plate for Emily Dickinson in the Dinner Party by Judy Chicago in the Brooklyn Museum, August 2007

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Judy Chicago (American, b. 1939). The Dinner Party (Georgia O’Keeffe plate), 1974-79. Porcelain with overglaze enamel (China paint).

body electric

“Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in the woman’s womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. Woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which she is bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love a taking of man within her, an act of birth and rebirth, of child rearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to be. But for woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment man rests inside of her.”

-Anais Nin

these stupid selfies

These silly selfies, this need for immortality.

Instagram away them wrinkles and grey hair.

Pretend, the texture-less screen flesh.

Immortal. I’m forever young.

My metronome. The watch, frozen.

Flat and scentless and immortal.

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object

Let us not make objects of ourselves or others.  Take it down a notch on the selfies. Ok, but is marriage not the biggest producer of objects? ‘Pure’, ‘good’ institution, where possession is the main manufacturer of the object. ‘Stay away from my husband’ and ‘my wife is only for me’. Monogamy’s pious way to look down on objects? Such a strange world.

     

embodied spaces at framer framed

Framer Framed is pleased to announce Embodied Spaces, an exhibition curated by Christine Eyene, featuring works by Delaine Le Bas (United Kingdom), Jeannette Ehlers (Trinidad/Denmark), Cecilia Ferreira (South Africa), Lisa Hilli (Papua New Guinea/Australia), Evan Ifekoya (Nigeria/United Kingdom), Hélène Jayet (Mali/France), Patricia Kaersenhout (Netherlands), Euridice Kala (Mozambique/South Africa), Shigeyuki Kihara (Samoa/New Zealand), Ope Lori (United Kingdom), Susan Walsh (United Kingdom) and Alberta Whittle (Barbados/South Africa).

In this exhibition, Eyene continues an on-going dialogue with women and queer artists addressing the body, sexuality, gender, Black and Romani cultural identities in their work.

Consisting predominantly of works of a personal or intimate nature, the project takes on a double approach, engaging with the idea that ‘the personal is political’ – as attributed to feminist artist Carol Hanisch in the late 1960s – and extending this assertion to the notion that the political belongs in the public sphere. The concept also draws from the notion of ‘non-places’ defined by French anthropologist Marc Augé in Non-Lieux: Introduction à une Anthropologie de la Surmodernité (1992) who reflected on public places that hold no significance other than infrastructural, places of passing, of transience. Temporarily experienced, these spaces are also the location of parallel forms of existence and creativity.

Embodied Spaces seeks to make analogies between ‘non-places’ and marginalised or underground cultural productions, echoing Framer Framed’s commitment to challenge a Eurocentric, normative, canonic vision of contemporary art and culture. The exhibition will engage with the context and structure of the Tolhuistuin. Art pieces will also be placed in non-art-dedicated spaces within the venue, creating links between their content and location.

Embodied Spaces follows from previous editorial and curatorial projects involving women artists from Africa and the diaspora, notably Women Speak Out (Galerie Le Manège, Dakar, 2011; Fondation Blachère residency in Douala and exhibition in Apt, 2014-2015), and WHERE WE’RE AT! Other Voices on Gender (Bozar, Brussels, 2014).

Alongside the exhibitions are planned a series of public events which will be announced soon.