I’ve been disappointed by males before. And I often find myself wondering, what is a ‘real man’? In my own man, his realness comes out best when:
a) He is Enraged (violently)
b) He bonds with his daughters
So, maybe a real man is a man hard enough to protect and soft enough to love.
There is no way that violence does not play a role in the realness of a man. Never do I feel animal attraction so vividly as when I see my man physically uncontrolled. And never do I feel weaker in the knees than when he interacts with our children. There is no way that a man can be a “real man ” if he cannot show the degree of tenderness with which one holds a new born.
But perhaps a real man is neither. Perhaps a “real man” only appears right in the centre of the two poles, where one extreme flows into the other.